Choices

I think some of the things I feel aren't necessarily associated with DID.  At least that's what people that know me tell me.  I like to hear that I have "normal" issues too, but what are normal issues?  I've kind of decided that everyone has their own, individual issues.  People struggle with different things every day.  I am no different.  Some of my daily struggles might not be a typical struggle, but some of them are.  I am a young mom to young kids.  I struggle with my kids at times.  Normal right?  Yet many times during the day I struggle with the urge to cut or hurt myself in some way.  Not normal right?  I am starting to learn to not always act on my urges.  If it's as simple as don't eat that extra piece of that amazing chocolate cake or as complex as don't pick up that razor blade.  Every time I am presented with a choice I try and make a conscious decision and not an impulsive reaction.  I am in a relatively good place right now and the decisions are typically easier, but that won't always be the case.  I am still realistic and know that I will probably choose to pick up that razor blade at times.  At that point I will start learning the process of forgiving myself.  Something I am not good at.