No Worries

Someone said to me the other day, "remember when you were little and you had nothing to worry about?"  I didn't know what to say, so I just smiled to myself and said "ya" when in reality, I had no idea what that felt like. 

  I've often wondered what it would be like if I had had that kind of growing up.  The kind of growing up that the hardest thing going on is what shirt to wear to school that day.  Instead, I lived in fear.  I was afraid of everything.  My parents, my family, teachers, friends, family, darkness, certain lights, certain noises, animals, many smells, etc.  You name it, I was probably afraid of it.  I also did not trust anyone. Made life lonely.

As a child, I also felt like an adult.  I felt trapped inside a child's body. So many of the things I was experiencing as a child were things that should only be experienced by an adult.  I felt grown up.  I never felt taken care of.  I never felt loved.

Lots of worries for a little girl.  Lots of worries still.  It's actually really weird to me to think that people had childhoods full of no worries.  Maybe someday I'll understand what that feels like.  Maybe I won't, but hopefully my children will.